I don’t know if you noticed or not, but I have been away for a while. Heck no, not lucky enough to have a vacation. Just away from the keyboard. If you are a regular reader than you know this. So, what happened? Pain! That is what. Good, down to earth pain. Yep, I said “good”. Being sarcastic, I guess. But I have had to concentrate on not being negative. You would think after 5 plus years a girl could handle a flare. But this one has scared me. First let me share what has caused the pain.
I had to travel to West Virginia for a funeral. That trip can take close to ten hours in a car. Well, this time I think that was closer to 12 hours. Twelve hours of thinking maybe this princess should get the chauffeur to turn the chariot around and take her back home. I mean, it didn’t take much more than an hour of reclining in that back seat to alert me to the possible mistake of going. And with this China virus and all the drama of going to a doctor, I have no meds that are effective anymore. I mean one of my muscle relaxers is dated 2018, another and it being the most effective is dated 2017. And if you have read much of this blog you know I rarely take meds. What, with most making me ill, I just dread taking one. Therefore, ten pills can last a looong time, especially if you cut them in half. Oh, I should add that I live well over an hour from my last doctor, since the move.
Next issue was that I am fed up with how the house was still loaded with unpacked boxes and the men working on my remodel for the bathroom act like they want to live here. I told my sister that you would think I was married to one of them, because they never do things like I ask them. I mean, us ladies know that if we ask our husband to do something for us, and we want it a certain way, we might as well talk to a wall. If they think it should be some other way, that is how it will happen. But heck, I ain’t his wife! I’m paying him, do it my way please! Ok rant over. I started tugging open boxes and putting things where I want them and heck with the dust going everywhere. Then, since I have given them a deadline of tomorrow to be out of this house, I got busier. The enclosed back porch got a full rearrange and a full vacumn. That meant I put everything in the yard which meant trips up and down five steps. What I did not toss out to the yard that is. Which in turn necessitated it getting wiped down before coming back in.
The pain sat in gradual to where it was unbearable after that trip to West Virginia. I was smart enough to take my walker for the funeral and was dumb enough to leave it at my mom’s house. Yep, the few times I really needed it; I did not have it. The ‘not having it’ causes me to tense up as I try to stay mobile. Also, I can use it to get up from chairs and it adds security when my legs decide they want to pop backward when trying to step forward. [on a side note, this is not really from the Tarlov Cysts but from another issue.] After getting back from West Virginia I did take a day and rest, but my mind would not rest with the house looking like an antique shop with things everywhere. Plus, I realized that I would not have really been able to use the walker down the hall way.
Then the pecans finally decided it was time to fall from the trees. This is our first time living around so many trees that throw their nuts at your house. Not really the trees’ fault, but it was from one of the many tropical storms that came thru Georgia. For three days it rained and the wind was not so pleasant. Also, our power went out. Yep, only three homes in our little berg and it was us. After the ground dried up a little, I got a little adventuresome and though I would help pick those little buggers up. I ended up sitting on a one step stool and filled a whole small tub with them. All I had to do was sit and spin around to pick them up. Apparently, this is the year for our trees to produce over abundantly. After three weeks we are still picking them up and I have advertised for anyone who wants to come help themselves to the ones we haven’t picked up yet. I bet we have two to three bathtubs full of them. I have helped pick up, crack, and sort those things so much so that I could just give up pecan pie this year. That might also be because I eat them as I work with them. A girl can’t let herself get weak from not eating, can she?
I did have to drive myself one day to take care of some business and that drive took me well over an hour. Counting the getting out of the driver’s seat to walk around the car. That was a whole day’s activity that might have taken someone else maybe two hours. Not me, I had to “rest” after getting to the stop before I felt mentally capable of handling my business. Then after taking care of it I knew I could not start the trip back home. I decided to walk one of the big box stores for a while — until I knew my legs could handle the drive home. Yes, I still use the cruise control buttons, up and down, to control my speed; but when your legs are vibrating, you get a little scared about the lack of control you have with them.
On the one day I press my stubbornness, I got caught by one of my neighbors crying while trying to clean up. I think I scared him. Yep, I talk to myself and cry while I just keep on punishing my body for not having the strength that I used to have six years ago.
You are wondering why I push myself. After six years I was hoping for more. Now, I don’t regret the surgery. Please, don’t get me wrong. But I really hate not being able to “do”. I cannot stand to not be busy. Yes, there are days I want to do absolutely nothing, but those are days I want to choose. I do not really like it when my body says, “no more”. How dare it! [said with a mental foot stomp.] Then when the pain becomes all-encompassing I can’t even think straight. I have had several days like that. In the last month that “several” has been more like half of the month. As you can tell by how disorganized this post seems to be.
I did have another sister to visit and bring her sweet little dog with them. I miss having four legs around the house. That gave me a break from thinking about my body, which I am thankful for. It also made me behave for a day. But I tried to start back into this house today and was able to stand long enough to get another batch of sour dough started. I even was able to sort a couple more bowls of pecans. But that was it for this busy bee.
Wow it is hard to believe that I just let this post sit in the laptop without posting it. It was not as negative as I first thought.