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6/17/2018 Watermelons and Father’s Day

  

I do not know if this is a science post,   a food post,  or a post of keeping calm. 

Did you know fruit can explode?  You know I am going to write about something ridiculous, so get your tissues, hankie or whatever you want to call it. I don’t know if you will laugh so hard you cry or if you will feel my pain and cry with me. Heck, part of me wants to throw a “roll on the floor” fit, another part wants to hide and cry, and another part just can’t figure out what to do. 

So this morning is Father’s Day! Shout out to all the Dads out there. My husband picked up a watermelon on Wednesday and put it in the kitchen floor. I suggested on Friday that  he may want to cut it, but noooo he would wait a day. So did he cut it on Saturday?  Oh no, he decided to wait. 

Now, during the middle of the night I heard a strange sound, strange enough to make me pay attention. So what did I do? Rolled over and went back to sleep. It might have been the creature that had been nosing around my deck, nothing more. So with the Grand puppy here and her Daddy, I got up and went down stairs to let her out to take care of business this morning. Half asleep, I walk over to the coffee machine to get my wake-up cup. I stepped in liquid! Almost busted the funnytailbone! I look down and my half asleep mind thought “oh no a can of tomatoes had somehow burst”. But no?, they were in a different cabinet. I look around and there was a gallon or so of water and red mush all over the place. Stunned, I saw it on the cabinet holding the fish tank, even on the light of the fish tank. It looked like a voodoo ceremony had taken place in my kitchen. 

That’s when the smell hit me! Oh, lardy, I gagged. That’s when I realized the watermelon looked strange. How I wished I had thought to take a picture to share with you. The thing had exploded out the stem end of the melon. The rind had curled back and outward. I was still standing in that gunk. 

I reached around me and grabbed paper towels and just dropped them all around. Well, by this time the pup decided she was going to see what I was mumbling about. She came over and took a lick. She shook her head with her tongue hanging out. Didn’t have to tell her no, not once. After reaching down to pick up some of those towels, I saw the extent of the damage. 

No way was I going to be the only one suffering and gagging. Nope, the person who was supposed to cut that thing 2 days before was going to share! I wiped my feet off, without crying, and marched my sweet self to the bed, calmly told him to get up and clean up his exploded watermelon. I think I even said, “I hope it tastes good”. I did not scream, I did not cuss. I was in too much shock to react too strongly. The more paper towels we put down the more the extent of trouble was evident. 

The water from that thing covered at least a 5 by 5 (yes, feet) area. It was under some book cases and an extra set of cabinets. When he picked that sucker up and put it in a garbage bag, it filled that bag with liquid within seconds. We double bagged it for fear of a hole bursting in the bag. After getting the walking area semi-dried, I was pulling out my cookbooks, canned food, and everything in those shelves and cabinets. Then the cabinets and shelves were hauled out to the deck. Mopped that area twice! The real cleaning started. More paper towels, a plastic knife to stick under the corner round at the base boards. Then was the time to bring out the baking soda. That is the best sponge out there. Sprinkle that down, take a spatula and pick it up until all the liquid is gone. 

I was still in my night-gown sitting in that sticky mess pushing that baking soda under the baseboard until it was gummy, scrape, dump, repeat. That repeat lasted all day! I lie not, I exaggerate not! It has been 12 hours since I started on the mess! 12 hours and my house still stinks. I took refuge in my bedroom to eat dinner. 

Now to those bookcases and shelves. If they still stink, and yes, I will get on my hands and knees to find out; out of this house they will go. Heck, the garage could use them and maybe it will keep the snake out of there. Anyone have need of free stinking bookcases? Leave me a comment, free to a good home. 

All that up and down, sitting in the floor, crawling on my knees has me worried now! I was so upset that my house stunk, could get ants, could have rotten floor boards, and all those other lovely thoughts that go with something like this, that it kept me from feeling any damage. But now? Yep, I have a swollen knee, a tailbone that feels like a porcupine stuck all it’s quills in me, and let’s not talk about damaged nose with only one scent registering.

Oh, that rotten watermelon juice must be poisonous! I found a type of bee/wasp dead beside the cabinets that were left on the deck to air. That will teach those creatures to come on my deck!!! Also, no flies! I might have been able to sit on my deck without being food for all the pests. But it didn’t smell sweet, so I was not going to see if it is a natural bug repellant.  

I thought you could enjoy this post right along with me. Do you now know why I said get those tissues ready? I mean how do you respond to an eventful day like this? I still have no clue how I have not screamed my head off. Much less spent an hour crying. Maybe both? But I was a good girl, just cleaned that stuff up. I might get a shopping trip out of it. 

 

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