For an update, this one will cover emotions. As we get older, we seem to go to a lot of funerals. Or maybe as we get older time shortens on us. Some funerals are sobering, some are celebrations, and some are just duties. I believe in formality and tradition in life. Being and doing things formally helps us to process things. Having traditions helps us remember things. Also having formality and tradition in life helps us remember to be respectful. Then formality and tradition teach us it is not all about us. Thus, when you go to a funeral, we should see it as an event [bad word I know] for the deceased and their family.
But why do we go to funerals? Is it because we are supposed to? Is it to “be seen” by everyone there? Is it a fascination toward death? For me? — I go strictly for the living; and to let them know I had a kindness for their loved one and for them. That being said, let me tell you I had one to attend.
I could have just as easily sent a card to the children. I could have posted on fb my condolences. I could have done any or many different things. But this funeral was for an aunt. Most of my aunts and uncles are in their late 70’s to 80’s. I know that they will not be around much more and for the last 20 years I didn’t get to see them often. As a child my father was in the military, that meant never seeing the extended family. Most military men were paid under poverty level during the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s. There was no hopping on a plane to visit them; then most places we were stationed were 7 or more hours away. I can count on the hand how many times the extended family came to visit us. Therefore, I cherish the times I get to visit.
It seems I cannot win on the family visiting aspect. I am now 10 hours away with my health determining when I can go and how the trip will go. If I plan to attend a funeral, I need a chauffeur to drive and my little nest in the back seat. There is no more driving in and leaving the same day. Yes, I have done that, when the children were young, so I could get back home to them. But that was when I was doing the driving. Now you know where the update part of this post is coming from.
Road construction! Right in the area we live is road construction, so we must go around the straighter route. Time! Stop and go, extra curves, extra turns! Then in the area where we live, the interstate is under construction. We get a little stretch of road, about an hour, without any. I think, … since I am below window view, at least it felt like there was no construction. Then there is the lovely state of South Carolina! It is a lovely state, but…… they need a new highway commissioner. When they made the lanes that everyone must use for their construction, they could have at least made it fairly smooth. It felt like someone just took buckets of pavement and dumped, then said, ‘well the cars and trucks will level it out’. South Carolina has been at this for over 2 years, maybe more. And it is getting worse. I wish they had first just made a by-pass around the area, then started on the tearing up of the roads. So, if you wonder why your packages are coming to your house all broke up, now you know.
Unfortunately, right at the start of the construction in South Carolina, I had to take some Morphine. Then a few minutes later I was ready to turn around and go back home. But, I did not choose that option. This was too important to me. I think from border to border, across the state, that there was some form of construction on 85. Finally, we got to North Carolina. Smooth sailing from there, at least enough to let me have a drug induced doze.
For this trip we were picking my sister up at her house to bring with us. I had honestly hoped to let her sample the nest for part of the way up there, but …… No doing. My lovely PGAD had kicked in! But all the talking we did helped as much as the medicine did. Maybe it was a combination. I call that distraction therapy. After another 5 hours we finally get to my mom’s home. I had forgot my meds for the PGAD, but there were some spare sitting in Mom’s house. Hint: If you have meds that you might forget at home, leave some at Mom’s. Those meds, taken after morphine, can make you a zombie for well over 48 hours – or for me they do. But they sure let you sleep.
The next morning, I could remember them telling me they were going to Sunday School and would be back; then we could eat lunch out before going to the funeral home. This girl had to have her body massaged to get her back and arms working. Add, I was rolled over and helped to the floor. Funny thing is, I can’t remember if I took a shower or not. I am assuming I did. But we made it to the restaurant and I ate more that I normally would at lunch time. I was hungry! It had been a long time since I really could say I was hungry without cause.
I won’t share the personal things at the funeral, but I will tell you there were times that my legs would get their warning sign that they were going to refuse to go forward. And my PGAD had kicked it up a notch. The bee stings went to ice picks! I hope my facial expressions did not show anything. I caught myself once starting to do a squat, in a dress, and managed to stick my fingernails into a wall instead. Oh, I had my lovely owl neck pillow to sit on. I was not going to sit on something that screams her “butt hurts”. This way I looked a little classy, or I do in my mind. Do not burst my bubble, Please!
So, after getting back to Mom’s place I did nothing, and we decided to head back home the next morning. The roads had not improved and the amount of construction did not lessen. Then we were blessed with fog, not too heavy but enough for the speed limit to be dropped 10 mph. After dropping my sister off at her home we hit the road again. I took a med that I knew would make me sleep or at least doze heavily. That was a blessing. It also cut down the number of stops my chauffeur had to make. Add to it, my bladder has taken a vacation.
I am home now and spent a night in my own bed. Lots of tossing and turning, lots of wishing I could take another pill. Lots of grabbing the tablet and playing games. So today I get to spend on the bed, or in my Cleopatra pose. I might supervise dinner tonight. That will be fun.
OOPS! I thought I had this one posted. So, let me just give a quick update on recovering from the trip. I spent lots of in bed days and trying to be productive days since. One day I would be in bed, the next I could function rather well. No mountain climbing and no driving, but I did get groceries bought and farmed on my deck. I even, finally, drove to the mall with my babysitter [daughter] on Sunday.