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Daily Life, Emotions, Journey

06/12/2019 Update


It is once again getting close to 2 AM and no sleep.  It has rained now for three days straight.  The first night those fool neighbors left that poor dog outside in the mess.  Needless to say it cried all night until one of them came home at 4 AM.  But gladly they have taken him in, except for potty breaks.  Yay! no barking just to bark.

For me?  I wish I could howl and howl.  All I know to say is this cyst business is moving at a fast clip.  The symptoms are hitting me hard and fast.  Can I say I can’t wait to get to Dallas?  How I will cope getting there I have no clue.  If it is like just daily living, I will be begging for some knock out pills just to get me there.   My daily life is boring.  I get up and drink my coffee and of course eat, but that wears me out.  So today I sat on the couch and played a game for a few minutes then I walked around the house then back to the couch. 

Thursday night, really Friday morning, my PGAD decided to rear its head and then I was having bee stings everywhere, so I took an Amitriptyline to stop that mess.  Not only does it stop the bee stings, but it stops my brain function.  I honestly had no business driving, oh well, don’t tell anyone.

I think my greatest accomplishments have been eating or fixing my meals.  Well, unless you count driving to the rental place so the husband could return the car he had rented for his trip.  Yep, I may have gotten two miles from the house and had to use those speed control buttons on the cruise control.  Usually my left foot has issues but if I need to drive you know it hops over to the right foot.  But I got there and then he did the rest of the driving.  Today’s was just fixing dinner and typing this post. 

I always feel like I should impart words of wisdom.  Yep, I sometimes think that readers want you to enlighten them on what you have learned.  So here is what I have learned.  It is OK to lie about your health to others.  Why, because they might not really understand and the trying to explain can wear you out.  A body in pain is already wore out; why add to it, why get more frustrated?  Oh, and listen to your body.  If it tells you to move, then move!  ’Cause if you don’t move, it will give you spasms and make you pay for not moving. 


I went to the new family doctor yesterday, just to get on the same page if the doctor in Dallas wants to have her do something for me.  Let me tell you how that visit went.  Like a ninny I showed up early, maybe 20 minutes.  So the lab and check-in nurse saw me after about 20 minutes and then sent me back to the waiting room.  My chauffeur thought that it was a short visit, I just laughed and sat my fanny down.  I had carried my tablet for entertainment and my cute neck pillow for my fanny.  Well I stood until I started getting weak then I sat.  Mistake!  I leaned forward trying to get comfortable and play a game.  Well I stayed that way until they called me back. 

Can I say “mistake”.  When they called me back, I could not get myself up.  My husband had to literally pull me up.  I don’t know if I cried out or not, but the pain was enough to make me want to pass out.  I was close to it because my vision turned gray.  And I shuffled myself to the hallway and hung on to the wall for a few seconds before I proceeded to the room.  The doctor came in quick.  We had a good conversation of she had no clue why I was experiencing strange things like my skin popping while the MRI was doing its thing.  Or why my body feels like it is on fire under the skin.   So her answer was to do a blood panel that will not be thorough  enough.  But it is a start.  She said it would even cover gluten.  We will see.  She did refill one of my meds; so that will help me get to Texas a little easier.  She even suggested staying there to have any testing the doctor will want.  

Now to today.  I spent the early part doing some laundry by hand and getting clothing ready for the trip.  I am a ‘mood dresser’ so I take clothes for any possibility.  Let’s see there is lots of undies, two nighties, a bathing suit, several pairs of walking socks, a dress for sloppiness, all sorts of capris and two tops per capri. I told my husband if he lets me forget my heating pad he would just have to buy another.  I even have all my e-oil supplements packed and meds for any possibility.  Just pray we don’t get pulled over and get searched.  I will need to hit a grocery store and pick up my gluten free breakfast bars and maybe another soup that I can eat.    We will spend one night at my son’s home in Montgomery Ala so being the loving mom I told him that there would be no restaurant eating.  He said fine he would have extra ice for me.  For those that do not understand – that is a dig about how people react to someone that is gluten free.  So I told him since he was visiting this weekend, I would have liver for him, or mutton shepherd’s pie.  Two things he will starve to not eat.  Just thinking about sitting in a restaurant makes me cry right now.  Plus the three-hour drive to get to his place and me looking beautiful after staying in my back-seat-nest for those three hours.  Why would I want a restaurant?

Today was one of those days I did what I could until I had to rest, and then the body would scream at me to move, so up I would go, doing busy stuff until I got weak again.  I am physically worn out, but my tummy is not happy with the amount of discomfort coming from my tailbone.  It is something that playing games, reading, listening to my gospel music, and any other normal distractions for me is not hiding.  Or distracting.  Right now I can say the discomfort is at the level of my ‘before’ surgery.  That totally scares me.   I don’t know if it is a flare or if it is here to stay. 

My words of wisdom it to cry if you need to; it helps make you sleepy.


One thought on “06/12/2019 Update

  1. Your words of wisdom are good. We need to listen to what our bodies need. Rest, move, sleep, cry…whatever it takes. I hope things improve for you soon x


    Posted by Despite Pain | June 13, 2019, 4:05 am

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