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Daily Life, Emotions, Medicines

04/18/2018 Update

04/17/2018

I started this post sitting in the Imaging Center.  Just getting there was not fun.  Every divot in the road and every bump was felt from my rear to my brain.   Even the turns were hard to take.  I woke around 5 am this morning with a head ache and of course on my tummy.  That laying on my stomach causes the spine and neck to protest.  By the time I was inside and waiting my neck was on fire and my rear added its dislike to the whole situation.  Unfortunately, I was sitting under fluorescent lights and they are one of my migraine triggers.  It did not help my head was already having a steady pain but add the need to keep my eyes closed.  That was a recipe for nausea. 

So, when the young tech had me go back, I warned her that I would not be able to stay still.  She was good and asked before each change of imaging if I needed to move, but please only arms and feet.  No moving the neck to hips.  Then when she started on the sacrum another tech took over.  Not stopping, this one.  So, I cried with silent tears, or I hope I did.  That machine was so loud that I could not do my thinking in my head.  I could not even hear myself.  Any way I was crying, and my hair was wet from where the tears were running down my face.  The second tech was a – – ummmm, you got it.  When she tried to get me up, she huffed that she had to remove the pillows from under my knees.  Then she just dropped my legs down.  Instant pain and I screamed to please put my legs at 90degrees.  She jerked them up and dropped them again.  But at least they were at 90.  Then when I went to roll over to get up, she refused to remove the thing I had my head nestled in.  Those things have always been removed at the other places for me, while the tech holds my head up.  Nope, I had to try and scoot myself down to get out of it.  Then I just laid on my side and cried.  I think she finally got it that I was in pain.  She tried to get me to stand and I looked at her and told her that how was I to do if I could not feel my legs.  Another tech came in and asked if she could help me.  I told her I could not even stand how was I to get off the table; she, being wise enough to realize I was panicking, went for a wheel chair.  I took one step and that was it, both ladies had me and was using their foot to put the chair under me before I hit the floor.  Bet I scared them.   So, I left and cried the whole way home.  Oh, I finally used my neck pillow for my neck.  I started out sitting on it then at the first stop light it came out from under me and around my neck. 

I was kind of a not nice person when we got home.  I ended up taking a half of a morphine tablet and added an e oil to the mix.  It has been four hours and I am still in pain, just numbed up a bit.

Let me add that I had some weird sensations while the test was being done on my Lumbar area.  I kept getting the feeling of tiny needles pricking my skin and then the short burst felt like it was on fire or shards of ice was hitting me.  I have had that happen to my right hand where I get these strange lesions that will get irritated.  This is the first time it happened in my elbows and up and down my arms.  I am wondering if it were not caused by the magnet each time it ran over my arms to image the spine.  Just an interesting observation.  Well, I guess interesting is as good a word as any to describe it.  At first, I was shocked and then I used it to keep my mind off my rear and back.  By the time the machine moved down to the sacrum I only felt it a few times. 

4/18/2019

I dozed off and on, a few times last night.  I kept waking feeling like my body was going to freeze up.  When I say freeze up” I mean different than a cramp.  A cramp involves the muscles, this involves the bones and the response to the joints.  I think the sensation is a little scary.  The not knowing if any movement, I ask my body to do, was going to be obeyed or if I was going to have to feel around the bed and hunt down the phone for an SOS call.  Especially the times I woke feeling like the potty was calling my name.  I hope I am not developing PTSD from the unknowns of this disease and from the unknowns of what is happening now.  At first when I read that chronic pain patients develop PTSD, I was like ‘no way!”.  Then being the nosy person I am, I looked it up.  Sure enough, it is true.  Some of the reasons is from the fear of being treated like a psychopath from doctors and family alike.  Then if you add the factor of not knowing what each day holds for you, and if any movement your body does can cause pain.  I guess you can expect PTSD.

 My daughter was flying to Washington and she had a six hour hold over at another airport.  So, each time she was able to use her phone I was texting with her.  I think that got the both of us through a long night and morning.   I have continued to lay down, off and on, after ‘piddling’ around the house and with my container garden.  But I am now at the point of screaming from boredom.  So when that happens, I hit the keyboard.   

The good thing to report is that I have not taken any meds since that one-half morph.  But then again why would I want to take any more?  That stuff makes the tummy upset and makes true resting almost impossible.  I am happy that I read several studies that affirm that taking opioids longer than 7 days can cause the pain to increase.  That is usually where a doctor would increase the dose, thus repeating the process.  Instead you would think the doctors would read reports and studies that they have easier access to than the layman does.  It is simply looking up words like “opioid hyperalgesia”.  Now don’t get me wrong, this has nothing to do with addiction.  It is a natural response our bodies have to the action of opioids.  I might just do a post on how and why I decided that opioids were not for me.  Add that any ‘pain’ or ‘nerve-pain’ meds were like taking poison. 

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  1. Pingback: 05/16/2019 Update | Funny Tail Bones - May 16, 2019

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