I have read in posts, from a bunch of ‘professional’ bloggers, that each post should give your reader a “lesson” or a “take-away.” I hope you don’t expect me to do that for each post. Some of my posts are just to let you know I am ‘normal’ and human. Some will let you know I have opinions, just like you. And some I will try to impart a useful “take-away” or something I personally have learned about living this life. Here is a “just human” post. Hope you enjoy it.
I am sitting in my she-closet, just enjoying the tiny bit of sun shining in. At first, I was doing the dreaded doctor-billing junk we have to deal with. Then I just sat and was “thinking.” What the heck is a “she-closet”? And what was I thinking about?
The thinking about is just thinking how unexciting life is. The inability to really dig into house work. Etc.
So, let me tell you what my “she-closet” is. A few weeks ago, I got really pissed off with not having any sun shining where the “comfortable” seating is in my house. The front of my house has sun, all day! That is, if the sun even shines. Those rooms are my master bath and closet, the dining room, and a kid’s room. Let’s not forget the foyer. The kitchen, living, a spare bedroom, and of course my Master bedroom have no sun. I don’t know about you, but dining room chairs are just pretty torture devises. The spare bedroom has a desk that is holding my herbs for the winter. So where does one get sun? You got it, either sit on the toilet all day or in my closet. So, this genius decided the closet it was! I spent several days rearranging and weeding out several boxes of clothing that was falling off my body. I had enough room to squeeze in under the window. So, I went and hunted down the outside cushions for the swing. I have a pretty decent set up in here. I have several old apple crates stacked for a shelf, and I am on the hunt for a very cheap bean bag that is over stuffed for support. Y’all, I said “cheap,” that means maybe $19 or better yet, free. But if someone wants to give me a small recliner, that would work too. I thought about adding a picture, but you do not want to see the rest of the mess crammed in here with me.
I will tell you some of the things I was thinking about. I have a dream-home plan in my mind. Yes, I said dream. Reality and life stops it from becoming a home. My dream-home would have smartly placed doors and they would be wide enough for a wheel chair to maneuver in each room. My master would have a separate sitting area. Along one of the walls would be two doors and those two doors would lead to the bathroom and then a closet. At the far end of those two rooms would also be doors, each leading into the laundry room. Note I said room. That laundry room would house the laundry and a sink, with the hot water heater in there. I envision going to take my shower and tossing my dirties into the laundry room. Then as I do laundry, just going into the walk thru closet to hang the clothes up. Not going up stairs or walking the whole of the house to put my clothes up. And not having clothes lint in my kitchen. I just have a creepy feeling about doing laundry in a kitchen. Lint and hair everywhere. Yuk! But let me tell you what I really think would be the icing on the Master suite cake. A screened-in patio with a court yard right there. I want an enclosed court yard, so as I tell my husband, if I want to sunbathe in the birthday-suit, no-one would see me. Not that I would do that, but it gets the point across. Plus, I can have raised herb and veggie beds in that court yard, maybe a flowering tree that does not stink. And let me add that each outside wall, in every room, will have at least a picture window in it. I got’ta have natural light, thank you very much!
Then another thing I was thinking about is not having faithful friends. The few friends I have had in my life, are all in other states. Let us face it, being a child of the military does not allow you to have a lifelong friend. Then moving so much, after getting married, adds to that dismal fact. We moved after the kids were out of high school and the friends that I have invited here, to this home, are never visiting much less return the offer to visit them. So, what’s a girl to do. Not a thing! Yes, I have read all sorts of blogs on how to get and hang on to friends. Sorry, they are a bunch of hog wash.
Now to a mundane set of thoughts: the laundry sitting in the washing machine. I was thinking that maybe I should just get up and put them in the dryer. Ummmm, nope! Maybe when the sun starts hiding behind the clouds that are coming our way, but not just now. Then I was thinking maybe I should find something interesting for dinner. Nahhhh, later for that too. Then my brain popped to “finding a new doctor.”
Oh, how I wish you could interview doctors. I need one that listens and can spend the time to walk through my thoughts on my possible illnesses which tag along with these Tarlov Cysts. You know the mind path we all take. I have this symptom, and this and that happen sometimes, but not all the time. Can you rule out this disease or that disease? Heck, do you even know what I am talking about? When was the last time you even read a medical journal? I do not want to “doctor hop,” as the insurance calls it, or even worse to “doctor shop”! That takes too much time and too much energy. I need all my spare energy just to function some days, why would I want to waste it on a professional that is rude and labeling?
Now, since I haven’t talked about lifestyle change in my foods, let me fill you in on what I bought to try and reintroduce into my diet. I bought a “grass fed” carton of milk. Can we say expensive? But to the sampling I can say that the verdict is still out. With the traveling over the last two weeks I do not know if this pocket of fluid is the result of the milk or just the stress put on the body from being shook up in the back of the SUV. I will say that the milk is much gentler on my stomach than regular milk ever was. Taste wise, there is not much difference. But let me forewarn you, shake that carton each time you poor it out. The cream tends to separate and float. So, if I get to have several days, in a row, where I do not have to get in a vehicle to go over 20 minutes I will let you know how the milk experiment goes.
One thing I can say is I have found several items, recommended to eat, that my system can not tolerate. Besides the wheat, they are tomato sauce, mushrooms, cabbage. My body hates me when I eat them. Even smelling them can start the intestines revolting. I have almost given up on juice. Every organic I have tried makes me feel ill. Also, the gluten free pasta that has corn in the ingredients are a no-no. This lifestyle clean eating is just a whole lot of trial and error. It is not like dieting where you get a “cheat day.” No, a cheat day will result into several days of gut issues and body discomfort. So, if you are trying to clean up your eating, don’t call it “diet.” That one word sets you up for failure from the get-go.