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Daily Life, Sitting

02/24/2019 Update

Thursday 21st

We had to travel back to North Carolina for a funeral today.  The road-gods were with us this time.  It really helped that it has been raining, none stop, for several days.  No road work.  Woot-woot!  Not knowing what this trip as going to be like, and considering that Tuesday and yesterday I had problems; I just made my nest in the back seat and rode back there.

Let me tell you about Tuesday.  I wear glasses.  Blind as a bat, not really but getting there.  It has been two years since I had both lens changed in my daily pair.  I went from a 5.25 to a 7.5 in one eye.  So, I went to pick up my new pair Tuesday.  When I first put them on, I was looking outside and I blurted out, quite loudly, “I can see.”  Everyone in the room turned and looked at me and laughed.  I hadn’t realized I had said it out loud.  But sadly, the bifocal part was off.  As I would looked down to read, something was wrong, and my eyes were going cross-eyed.  The pull was awful.  So that pair had to stay.  But the problem, dealing with my Tarlov Cysts, was the office is about an hour’s drive away.  We added a chore to the trip.  I did not drive.  So, as I was sitting in the doctor’s office, I started getting uncomfortable in the pelvic area and my brimstone started acting up.  Standing to leave was quite painful.  Then add that I was not sure my legs would take a step, caused a bit of anxiety.  By the time we got home I could have screamed.  Then we got the call to head to N C.

Ok, since I had lost all my weight, I have not replaced clothes, thus you know that required me to do rush laundry.  What few items that I can wear, as I call it, ‘for being in public’ were in the dirties.  Between trying on dresses, already in growing discomfort, and adding the stairs several times, this girl was barely holding herself together.

It is times like this, that you realize, you need slapped.  I still have not gone to meet the replacement doctor since mine retired.  I had one, yes only one, half of a pill in the morphine script left.  I have no other pain med except the n-said patch.  My discomfort was turning to pain!

So, the decision to just hop into the back seat was for the best.  I dozed off and on until it was lunch time.  When we stopped to eat, I thought everything was fair.  That was until I went to stand up to leave.  Mercy, the pain in my pelvic, hips and spine made me gasp.  Then when we got outside, I had to hang on to the outside wall.  This girl was crying by the time she took 20 steps.  The decision was made to take that last coveted half pill.  It may have saved my husband’s sanity.  It knocked me out until it started giving me heads spins.  Did you know you could get head spins while asleep?  I sure did not.  Anyway, I woke and thought that I was going to give up the stomach’s ghost.  I propped myself up and told the husband he had to stop.  You know the saying of Murphy’s Law.  If it could go wrong, then it will?  It was just my luck we were not anywhere close to an exit and was in the middle of road construction.  There was no place to pull off the interstate.  Thankfully, the next exit was a mile or so off.  I was cramming my gluten-free crackers in my mouth and trying to keep my mind free.  When we finally stopped.  I needed help just standing.  I went to the bathroom and put cold paper towels on my neck.  When I thought I could handle myself I went looking for a drink, and decided I could and should sit for the next leg of the trip.  That lasted maybe 30 minutes until I was  begging to stop so I could climb in my nest.  The morphine was still in my system enough to make me groggy or as I say, droggy.  I would do my Cleopatra pose and nibble crackers and sip my drink.  It took an hour before my tummy was calm enough for me to try to doze again.  I just wanted to be still, no bouncing, no movement.

It has been close to 10 hours since I took that half pill and let me say this.  I am still having side effects.  The pain relief is gone but the nausea is still bothering me.

I made the decision to go to the wake, or as they like to call it now – ‘the viewing’.  I may have looked like I was the most besotted girl in the world.  I had a death grip on my husband’s belt loop.  I was pretty loopy myself.  I was afraid I would face plant in front of all those grieving people and they would be shocked or assume that I was in extreme distress.  A funeral home is not the place to fall.


A new day.  Pretty boring from my point of view.  I barely slept and I knew there would be no funeral for me.  All I have done today is keep myself company.  My morphine has worn off; now I get to deal with the unpleasantness it causes for about 48 hours.  I was telling the sister-in-law that a trip to Texas might be our vacation this year.  I am so scared that might be so, and it is having an effect on my mood.  I will put this away until I can type something with more positive vibes.


Two of my husband’s cousins came by the home we were staying at, and they spent half of a day going over genealogy and talking about old times.  This wife decided she was going to be social.  I grabbed my fuzzy house coat, did my Cleopatra pose on one of the couches, and laughed right along with them.  They were having so much fun that I wasn’t going to be the party-pooper and hide in a bedroom.  I just stunk the room up with my e-oils and would get up to pace, then go hunt a snack when the pain started making me sick on my stomach.  No, I did not offer them any of my gluten-free crackers, sorry.

Sleeping that night was, let us just say, uncomfortable.  My skin, all over, was on fire and I was freezing.  I would wake and have a bad taste in my mouth.  Then I would play a few games on the tablet and wish morning would magically appear. 


We got up and left before noon.  I had nothing to take except Xanax so that is what I swallowed.   It helped me doze in my nest.  My husband asked me, several times, if I needed to stop and walk.  This girl told him if I got out of my nest, I was not getting back into the SUV.  Finally, my bladder told me I had to relent and stop.  Let us say it was yelling this quite loudly.  So, I made a pit stop and decided I could handle some food.  I ate one egg and two slices of bacon.  I was worried about the bacon, it was not nitrate free, but my body seemed to like me, and it did not bother me as much as it would normally.  That may have been the quickest trip home with me in the car.  I am sure my husband appreciated it.  My body?  It hates me right now.

Hopefully a night in my own bed will be all I need. 



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