I wonder if any of us know the true difference between “hope” and “wishing”.
“Hope” from a dictionary printed in 1962 is the desire of good accompanied by expectation; the object desired. As a verb it is to “cherish”, or to “desire for good”, or “to trust confidently”. A more modern dictionary says hope is “to entertain a wish for”, to “be confident; trust”. Then as a noun it is a “wish” or “desire supported by some confidence”. If we use our Thesaurus, you find words like: “desire”, “expectation”, “faith”,“ reassurance”; v. “trust”, “rely”, “desire”, “wish”, “encourage”, “comfort”
Now let’s look at “wish”. The 60’s dictionary says as a verb it is “to have a strong desire”, and as a noun it is “a thing desired”. The more modern one says: 1) a “desire, longing”; 2) an “expression of such desire; petition; prayer”; 3) a “goal”. The verb is: “to desire, want”; 2) to “order or entreat”; 3) to“ express wishes for”. The Thesaurus uses words such as: n. “ambition”, “aspiration”, “craving”; v. “want”, “crave”, “desire”.
Everyone has dreams (not the dreams when sleeping). So, for simplicity, let’s think of dreams as a fancy, an aspiration. But these dreams, while as children, usually are derived from fairy tales, movies etc. “When I grow up I want to be___.” Rarely do we become a princess, a cowboy; except in our parents’ eyes. But we are encouraged to dream and imagine. Our parents are trying to slow reality from invading our life, and without knowing it they are teaching us to question actions and results. They are teaching us about “hope” and “wishes”. When you blow out the candles on your birthday cake you make a “wish”.
We often say “I “wish” for you to do something or for good to come your way” or “I “hope” ___.” Sometimes these are for our selves, other times for intimate friends or family, and then they could be for the world. Did you know that “wish” is rarely used in the Bible, but hope is in there abundantly? If you just think about just saying the two words together in a sentence you can feel the effect the two words have on your body. “Wish” is just a simple word that has no exhale when you say it. But “hope” causes you to exhale or even your stomach to tighten.
I use these terms as… “ I hope that it will be…”. Meaning, I really want an outcome to be in my favor. Then to expand the thought to other people and my disease I am “hoping” that my “wish” in regard to both happens.
Stay with me, I know it seems a bit jumbled up, but there is a point coming.
I have read many comments that others with worse diseases make about people in their lives understanding what they are going through. We “hope” that one day someone will enter our universe that is going through the same as we are. Not that we “wish” the illness on others, but for the comfort of their understanding. I’ve noticed each of us have “hopes” that we can connect with our family and friends, and that they will accept without holding some judgment or finding cures for us. We share our symptoms, not for pity, but for understanding.
Most of us have given up “hope” for cures in our lifetime. But we still “wish” it could happen. Now when I say we have given up “hope” I do not mean that we “wished” we could end our lives, but that we have become realistic in our choices.
We “wish” for listening. Oh how great it is when people listen, not just ear service but truly listens and hears. To understand. We “wish” for help; company; something to ease our daily life.
I put it like: “I “hope” that my “wish” comes true”.
I have come to the stage with this disease that I fully understand that I will never have my old life back. My “wish” is that others accept this, but my “hope” is that they do it with grace. My “wish” is that I can get stronger in my new normal; my “hope” is that I have the strength to grow with my new normal. My “wish” is that others read my blog; my “hope” is that it helps others during their journey.
You can “wish” people to do anything, but it is your “hope” that they will be enlightened by your “wish”. I have found out that doing either is futile, if not accompanied by prayer. We can “hope”, and “wish” until we are dead, but that will never change an outcome. The other parties either have to want to or God has to intervene.
I have read stories of personal strength, as people come to terms with their illnesses. I have read of personal tragedy as people have to let go of family and friends because they are ridiculed for their illnesses. In each of these stories you see the person struggle with sharing their illness. They are doing a daily struggle just to continue each day fairly productively, and then they have the added stress of narcissistic people in their life. They start out hopeful that those people will want to learn and accept the illness. Sometimes those people seem genuine in their concern, but as time goes by they lose interest or accuse the patient of drama. But the patient still loves them and wants or needs them to be in their life. Now the patient is losing “hope” and will “wish” things were different. The self-absorbed person is causing the patient to question many parts of the illness or disease. They will even question themselves about if they should personally try to continue their struggles, or to even accept their own illness.
We all will find both types of people in our lives, the genuine and the narcissistic. The ones that are genuine are healthy for us, the other are pernicious. When dealing with a chronic illness it is okay to rid yourself of the toxic, especially when you are at your weakest. No amount of “hoping” or “wishing” will change them, but you still have to pray for them.
I know I touched on prayer, we pray to bolster our “hopes”. We might not attend church regularly, we might be the weakest in our faith; but we do seem to pray that our “hopes” are realized. One thing I have realized is that of the materials I have read; i.e., blogs, comments on f b, each of us who have a chronic illness have a foundation of prayer. Simply by looking at the word “hope” the definition enforces the need for prayer. Prayer is our instrument for the faith that our “wishes” can come true.
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.
Psalms 119:116 Uphold me according unto thy word, that I may live: and let me not be ashamed of my hope.
Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groaning which cannot be uttered.
Romans 8:24 For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? 25 But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it. 26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groaning which cannot be uttered.
I Corinthians 13:7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
I Corinthians 13:13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three: but the greatest of these is charity.